This is sensitive material, holding the power of sensation. If we show our sensitivity…especially to our loved ones, it could be sensational…my sensitivity tells me.

My Dad with his new wife Micky...and family on wedding day...can we all ever come back togather? I sense we need too.

Last night, my dad and sister, Lu Anne and her husband, Steve came to the Spoke for our weekly family dinner. We were getting pretty busy so I would only get to sit with them a couple of minutes every now and then. But when the word came back into the kitchen that they were there, my heart smiled and I hurried to be able to go hug ’em.

Lu Anne and Cousin Fayro...Alan and Diane Farris

That night, we had two Christmas parties and a class reunion, and lots of walk-ins, so they were proud for me. And when I sat down the first time, we all hugged and smiled. Lu Anne opened with, “I loved your blogs. After I read the one on ‘Time,’ I took the time to read the first one.” And then she told me I needed my split ends trimmed and play with my new ponytail.

I was so happy that moment but just that quick, I was up working on fixing a situation with a party. And I was gone.

Next time by, I sat down again and we planned dates for our gathering. We decided on Tuesday (Dec 20th) of next week, Christmas night at Judie’s, and the THURSDAY AFTER CHRISTMAS FOR THE NATIONWIDE BARKER CELEBRATION. Dec. 29th at the Spoke…calling all Barkers’ cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, and ones once married to one of these.

In just a few moments plans were laid in place for some family fun. Just that quick and then I was off to check on service for one of the parties, and through the crowd, greeting and stopping to chat and next thing I know, Dad is telling me bye and see you Tuesday. And they were gone.

Earlier in the evening, Diana’s mom and sister came and shared a meal with Diana. I was so glad for her ’cause I know how good a meal with my family feels. Diana’s mom has a lot of grief and sadness left to deal with and you could see it in her eyes, and my heart went out to her.

Some of Diana's Family

Sharing a meal with her daughters helped lighten her load. Mel brought her boys Cache and Cheeny, and they romped and played. It was fun to watch as I left them to their family time.

After thanking my guests at the Spoke and wishing them the merriest of Christmases. I went to my wife, who by the way, looked fabulous in tall black boots and black jeans…somebody stop me…flowing blonde hair and brilliant smile…She said, “You jumped down my throat tonight, all the way to my ass and I took it, but didn’t like it one bit.”

And someone said, “Were ya’ll arguing?” And she said, “No, because I keep my mouth shut and didn’t say anything.” Pausing to puff on her cig, she continued, “Ain’t no argument if you don’t say nothing back. Just an uncalled-for ass-chewing.”

See, I have no one to blame but myself or her for what I might see as a shortcoming on service, or party prep, or how things are plated and cooked, and stuff. This time I blamed her and it was as much my fault as hers that there was a shortcoming.

I am sensitive. I care about my Dream, my product, my creation…And I lose my cool…nearly everyday. This is my bad sensitive…easy irritated with less that great service, food, effort. I am working on this and I sense it is my worse trait of sensitivity.

So, on the 4th Day of Christmas, I give to you…Sensitivity.

I am kinda sensitive about Christmas

I was wrong to jump down Diana’s throat, the one I love the most, and I am sorry my sensitivity came out that way. Just because I am sensitive, I am sometimes over-sensitive and over-react. I may not know the definition of sensitive, but I know I am, because I care. I care about what I do and what I say. I am not one of these, I don’t give a damn-guys. I give a damn. Maybe I should just not be so sensitive about stuff.

But I have a sense of what needs to be done, who’s hurting, who I hurt, and how to fix it. So I will live with my gift of sensing the things others do not sense. The only sensible thing for me 2 do is keep on being sensitive, and sense when I am being the childish sensitive that is easily irritated.

We all have that sense but we don’t all have the sensitivity to fix it. We are often hard like a stick in the mud, believing only what we think matters. We hold on to things from the past when someone hurt our feelings, said mean things, pushed us away, said we were no good, and generally did us wrong. And we are so sensitive to that we can never come back together again. This kind of Sensitive is the Bad Sensitive. You can Sense that can’t you?

But we can sense the need 2 come back together with some sensitivity. Do you care? Then, are you sensitive enough to be the one, like Diana, who keeps her mouth shut when arguments start? Can you be the one to reach out to your past friends and estranged family, and reunite and make up and be unburdened. I Sense you can…and will…Its the only Sensible thing 2 do.

Reach out...

Sensitivity is not the road to be rewarded by those you are sensitive to. But it’s necessary to repair broken relations or maybe your business. If we help others, usually we are punished by the world and I know this from experience. On the other hand, I love being sensitive and I think you will too if you try it. You might start by being sensitive to your mate’s or families feelings or ideas, and respond with your senses.

I am two kinds of sensitive and you are too. Sometimes I am the bad one who is easily irritated or offended. That kind of sensitive is childish and I hate it when I act that way. My sensitivity makes me cry at good-ending movies, even commercials on TV. I love people and try to be sensitive to their needs and doubts. And it’s a burden sometimes knowing I must help others when I really don’t see how I can make enough time or money to do so, so my mind says, and I always remember…..NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED. There is often a cost we must be willing 2 pay….the cost of having our feelings hurt and our bank roll depleted when we are sensitive to the needs of others. My wife used to say, “Jay, you let people that owe us run over you. You are too good to people.” She don’t say that anymore because she now knows my heart fully. And she shares my humble belief that I should help, expecting nothing in return but a sensational feeling of sensitivity.

Three sensitive people, judie lu and jay...sensitive 2 each others needs

But being a sensitive person on the good side keeps me sensitive to things beyond the natural range of perception…by using my senses. The Good Sensitive is to be thoughtful, kind, understanding, concerned, patient yet responsive, receptive and attentive, considerate, tactful, and unselfish.

The Bad Sensitive is easily irritated, easily offended, quick to moody reactions, and quick to mean reactions. Both types live in all of us. The Good Sensitive and The Bad Sensitive. I stay at battle with my sensitivity all the time, the good ones and bad ones.

But I am sensitive and love it. I feel things others don’t sense and sense things others do feel. It is in my fabric and a gift.

Is that really a gift? Is it really a good thing? It is if I make it that way and I am happily trying to be sensitive to you and your needs, and my wife and her needs because I sense with my sensitivity, that you and I are all connected, especially me and you. “Cause you’re reading this, we are deeply connected and I thank you for your sensitivity.

You don’t want to be insensitive do you? Deficient in human sensibility, not mentally or morally sensitive…do you? Well, if you ain’t sensitive you are insensitive. It’s one or the other.

This is sensitive material, holding the power of sensation. If we show our sensitivity…especially to our loved ones, it could be sensational…my sensitivity tells me.

I love ya’ll, I know this don’t make no sense, so show some sensitivity in this matter as I take time to dream of a day when I put my Bad Sensitive to sleep and feel my Good Sensitive til it is so strong, Bad Sensitive is defeated. I haven’t got there yet, but I am working on it, one sensitivity at a time.

Micky, Dads new for some reason or reasons we can not come together as a family even at Christmas. I sense a need to somehow some way fix it.

Love is such a joy when we care about each other. My sister Lu was and is sensitive to my need to be with family and she comes to see me every Thursday and I feel a sense of pride in her for taking her time to pick up Dad and come see me. And Judie is the most sensitive of us all and we all sense when we are needed by each other…that’s sensitivity…feeling and caring and sensing…

My sensitivity tells me you feel me and what I am trying to say.

Now, I get to go apologize to my wife and hold her softly and let her feel the pain I sense from jumping down her throat, when I was over come with my bad sensitive. Sensationally she will forgive me and my Bad Sensitive Behavior…She is so sensible. I must be crazy 2 ever say a cross word 2 her, I sense.

Saying i am sorry is made so easy by my wifes Sensitivity ...I love making up.

Get in touch with your good and bad sensitive sides and you will understand yourself much better…..We are not bad people…just sensitive…sometimes 2 sensitive. sometimes insensitive, and sometimes our sensitivity is all that saves us from a life void of love. May your life be full of love and family and the sensitivity needed to care deeply for others. They need you, I can sense it, and I also sense you already knew that. HAVE A SENSATIONAL CHRISTMAS TIME…