Chapter 2 in the COOK BOOK OF LIFE…..entry 1

Its hard 2 rite after yesterday and say anything as moving as Barney’s story but I want 2 even if it is not as good because I am committed 2 the riting of this blog and doing what i want 2.

Do what u want 2 do….Isn’t that the true desire of each of us. And how could I give U advice when i don’t no ur set of circumstance other than this…do want U want 2….thats what i do. Do I follow my on advice? I try 2.

My dog Boo and my wife Diana, have taught me one does not need 2 be perfect 2 receive perfect love……..or give it…..unconditionally.  And my jail time let me see very,very clearly…. I was not perfect, so why should I expect my mate or my world 2 b perfect? I shouldn’t. The only thing perfect is unconditional love, a practice of which I am still practicing ….at.

Pleasing my mate and providing for my family are now my top desires…..but that hasn’t always been understood or done by me….even tho I managed 2 do a fair job of it. Until my recent 6 month stay in Costa Rica, doin what I wanted 2 do, did i realize that true happiness could not exist until it was shared with some one. For me, that some one was my mate and my dog….not always in that order.

I have been like a tumbleweed most of my life;  alive,  rollin with the winds of my desires, puttin down no roots that tie me 2 1 place 2 long…. Until now. And as a result I have experienced much and much of that was good but not as good as it could have been if my mate or dog was not with me. As with all things unattached, I am subject to the pull of energies that r sometimes opposite of my true desires.

How do we find our true desires? Do we even no what we want or what would make us happy? My guess is Ya’ll do no, but may not have found where u stored it….ur true desires. To find your true desires, RELEARN WHAT U ALREADY NO. I found out early in my life I was happiest with friends, family, and nature. If I can’t be with one or the other,  I always have me – with whom I am well pleased. Don’t get me wrong I am not perfect nor is my life. I and It r far from it. PERFECTION IS NOT THE GOAL……HAPPINESS IS THE GOAL

There r costs associated with the adventure that leads one 2 the realization of their desires. For each of us the cost is different as is the reward. Sometimes the true  cost is not realized until we put our mind in reverse and tri-cycle back and look at our decisions and see what really mattered 2 us then and the cost we paid 2 do what we thought we wanted 2 do. Freedom aint free nor is free love free. The cost of these r often high…higher than we r willin 2 pay.

I find my self being 2 sensitive about things at work or home and my temper or anger prohibits my true intentions; 2 love unconditionally. Even God and Jesus became angry, so I don’t see these emotions as always bad, but for me they usually r.

Yesterday my wife and I argued, and during the heated exchange, She said, “u always say do what u want 2 and now u r tellin me I can’t do this.” Responding 2 quickly for her I said,  “I had hoped that what u want 2 do is please me, and I did not tell u not 2 do it, only that it would please if you quit operating ur junk store in Corinth.”  I don’t want 2 argue ever with her cause I love her so and all I want 2 do is please her, so later I apologized for gettin upset at that time and said I was wrong and was. It is never a choice of black and white in our quest to be happy…only shades of gray from which to choose….making lifes choice hard 2 get right.

Therefore, I am my own stumbling block. It’s not u or them, It is me and my emotions, that makes me forget what I already no….I am constantly hoping 2  love unconditionally, yet I am failing daily. But thru my quests I have understood how far I have 2 go 2 realize the utopia of  God’s  command to Love one another as u love ur self……A long , long way…..but at least I have made it half way there. How do I no that?  I no the first thing we must do in order 2 love another, as we love our self….IS LOVE YOUR SELF….AND THAT I DO. DO U LOVE U?

SO DO WHAT U WANT 2 AND IF U ARE SCARED 2 DO THAT U MAY NEVER LEARN 2 LOVE YOURSELF MUCH LESS OTHERS, and happiness will be an elusive dream only the fearless will experience….Fear not. Love unconditionally…even ur self.

NOTHING FREE IS WORTH MUCH… EXCEPT  LOVE….WHEN GIVEN FREELY…. IT IS SOLID GOLD.  Do what u want 2.  I just hope u want 2 do the right thing for u and urs and me and mine……will try 2 do the same.

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