Bloggin’ Again

… “do the thing and you will have the power”…..Ralph Waldo Emerson.

me and my daddy, Jack

Bloggin again…… while not bloggin and only facebooking I wondered why blog? What on earth did I think I was doing? So I went back and read quite a few of my older blogs, having forgotten what each said. I soon knew one reason I wrote was so I could remember…. My memory used to be sharp and detailed but not now. If and when I forget stuff, my blogs have created me a personal library of my memories, lessons, and losses; a journal of thoughts that might not otherwise pass my way again in another time space.

I was comforted to read my words and began to realize what the reason, the thread, of my bloggin was.

And it is this…. I love myself, I love being me, I love sharing me with others, I want to be of service…. To many ….. to teach love, respect and family…. So I blog and try to live a good life. I try to keep it light and positive. As a result I now meet many people that speak to me with a bright faces when speaking to me about reading my blogs; sending me to a peace that passes understanding.

By tryin to do something that hopefully helps others be bigger than their problems, feel and share love more deeply, focus on family, and laugh a little, I have a fulfillment of the heart. The fulfillment one gets from striving to be of assistance and caring and sharing …..as a result, I am loved by many …. That do and don’t know me…. Because of my sharing of my words and deep inner thoughts with each of you, I am more connected and committed to you… and me.

I can feel the power in the numbers of those who read and enjoy the journeys of Jay. I then go with you, if you take my words with you. We are connected and if I go with you, you then go with me and we have collective goodwill. Lots of folks want me to succeed and do good things and that gives me the Slight Edge… the force of nature that is either with you or against you.

There is a constant energy at work in us all and it is either working for you…. or against you… or put differently… the good forces takes you forward and up and the bad forces take you forward and down…. laws of nature – forces known and unknown, working together to be “Earth”…. As imperfect humans we don’t always recognize the evident. We are all connected and can change the world if we so choose. It happens every day… for profit and charity…for better or worse… the world is changed. I feel a need to do my part…. Blogging is one way I can reach more people, effect more change, and be a peacemaker, a better dad and person.

I love to read other people’s views and philosophies, and life stories. I wanted my life story told as I saw it…. I guess, subconsciously. I believe anyone can learn from my mistakes…. Even me. So I blog… and jog my minds eye open, and look in my heart and see what I can find…. When I find time….or make it.

This is a NEW ERA of blogs. The Jay calendar has begun with the official ending of the Mayan Calendar. Jay Daze ahead and the Jay Calendar says: its always today…. If you are waiting on tomorrow, refer back to the Mayan Calendar…. That says there is no tomorrow as of December something 2012. There is only today and that is the Jay Calendar.

So today I am thankful for today and all the life that lives in this moment and the next. I hope you have a great New Era…. New Year….. today.

Don’t wait till tomorrow to start living your dreams…. There is only today. It is so easy to wait and plan and delay starting on living your dreams…but it is just as easy to start…. I encourage you to take the first step on the path to living your dreams in the NOW…. Today.

In the coming blogs I will try to teach what I know about the Slight Edge… the force of nature, and how you can use it today and every day and anyone can do it.

If I can do it …. You can do it.

Do you want to hear my story?

- It starts out….there I was a red-headed, snaggled toothed, freckled face, crew cut and outta place, insecure kid, being moved from town to town, facing a new bully in each and the pressure of a preacher father’s right hand pushing me to a place I would not achieve…. Ever. But this is what little Jay boy did and learned along the way…..

My journey in this life has lead me to right here, right now, and nothing I could have done would have put me in a different time or space, because the book of life, as are all books, is written before it is read…. Think about that and now think about how you want the book of your life to read from right now forward…. Write the ending, beginning now…. Is your ending a short story or an adventure of dream seeking and living?

I’m putting a book marker at 2012’s end and 2013’s beginning. And I am gonna check the Jay Calendar each day I have a today and remind myself…. There is only today.

Hope you have a lifetime of great 2days starting…. TODAY! You can do it…. I will help show you how I think and navigate the 2days through helping others get through their 2days.

I leave you with this to take with you…. live fully, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and happiness will find you…. and take haven there…I said that…from experience. I am happy to say…you can do it..if I can…anyone can.

I hope to see your comments and thoughts on our new blog page and website and may the force go with you…and take you 2 who you wanna be.

12th Day of Christmas…repost

On the 12th Day of Christmas, I give to you…. a big MERRY CHRISTMAS and a list I’ve been checking twice. This list I made for myself some years ago after reading the “Tao of Willie” (great read).

My dear friend NT Clayton, departed this life in January of this year. He kinda reminds me of Willie.

Use this list as you wish, I use it while I wish… for Peace.

I love ya’ll, Jay

12 Things I try to remember and do:

1. Never pass up a chance to shut up!
2. Never be afraid to teach.
3. Find a balance between #1 and #2 and avoid large doses of both.
4. My life is connected to all things… especially me and you.
5. I am not in control, fortunately, so let things happen…. enjoy the sun rising and setting.
6. No matter what you do, be truthful.
7. Always, patience first! Feed the good wolf of my heart.
8. Happiness is now. Understanding NOW is happiness, one moment at a time, happiness is in the way we act, not in the outcome.
9. Meditate, breathe deep, sit still, relax, listen, dream, repeat. And drink lots of water.
10. Creation sets you free. Creation of love and of loving solutions fulfills your deepest instincts to be good. Your actions are your creations.
11. Learn what you already know! Tell your mind what your HEART says. Feed love, starve anger, stop war.
12. Think positive. Trust the wisdom and guidance of your heart. You can do it!

Gotta go now…. it’s Christmas Eve, my favorite day of the year.

Jack H Barker …my Dad…with Great, Great Grandson ..Silas

Wow! I did it! 12 blogs in 12 days and still time left to shop for the one I love…. priceless.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

11th Day of Christmas…repost….lets read it

The 11th Day of Christmas

Pen in hand, with no thought in mind, but I start writing anyway. Most of the time when I write these blogs, I know where they are going…if I can figure out how to get there in words. Today, I have no clue what I will say but if I write long enough, I will end up with something…maybe.

No one is up yet and I have gone thru my morning routine of bathroom, coffee, computer, and cig.

First of all, I want each of you 2 know that I love you and appreciate your time you spend with me reading my blogs and visiting me at home and at work. I have met and loved many people in my days, but I can say I have never been treated any better than right here in Pickwick.

Pickwick....and one of those sail boats is ours...I love me some Pickwick

Running a restaurant is the dream of many and the nightmare of a few. There is nothing easy about the restaurant business.

It’s 8 a.m. and Daryl, my main “clean up” guy is reaching through the door to get the keys to begin the opening procedures. It takes 3 hours just to clean bathrooms, mop floors, ice beer and cola machines, run the snake in the sewer, and clean the parking lot.

together we work

Then the cooking begins as all eyes and ovens and fryers are turned on. Raba Baba is my day chef. Raba Baba is Robert Barbour, a renaissance man, and one of the people I always wanted 2 hang out with. He is Lu Anne’s age and 2 years older than me, so in high school he was way, way cooler than I was and his crew, Hillsman Williams, Bill Oates, and Trent Kernodle and a few others were the smartest and the coolest group in school. They played music, hung out in Dr. Jim’s garage, and I never really knew what 2 say to this guy, I was so much in awe.

Robert is a poet, a writer, and an artist, as well as a chef. He can name dishes I cannot say and cook them most excellently. When Raba Baba left Jackson, Tennessee for the Navy and I was attending Texas A & M, we lost track of each other and if we spoke, I don’t remember it. Then came Facebook and there he was and we talked and I invited him over for a few days (70′s style).

Raba Baba

He said, “Do you remember the 1st thing you ever said to me?”

I laughed in my head, I said, “no,” and Raba said, “I won’t ever forget it.”

And he tells me his memory of my 1st words 2 him. Now let me stop right here a minute and tell you when I see friends, they nearly always ask, “Do you remember what you said to me?” (at this or that time).

And I have 2 say no every time. And then they tell me a story of what I said meant to them at that time. It floors me every time that someone has held onto words I have said; loosely without plan or forethought I said something somebody keeps forever. Some say those words I said 2 them were life changing. If floors me every time…because I didn’t know anyone was listening 2 me anyway.

But believe you me, somebody’s hanging on your every word and mine. You never know who thinks you are “cool” and wants to be like you.

me and my son..Nick

I lived my entire life trying to be like my idols and I hang on their every word, so how could I have been so blind, so long to the fact that I might be somebody’s hero, or model or inspiration. I was just going thru life following dreams and chasing women back then. I had no clue anyone cared what I said so I said anything and everything.

Back 2 Raba Baba’s visit and our conversation of my 1st words to him.

I’d just moved to Milan, a little red-headed, freckled face preacher’s kid and the he kinda had a crush on my older sister Lu Anne, so I had seen him around and he knew who I was.

So I walk in the Big Star on Liberty St. and Robert was a sackboy there working. I got what I wanted and checked out and as we visited the past he says, “And I’ll never forget what you said to me. You made me so mad I was speechless. Some little squirt gonna make fun of me.” I interrupted and said, “What did I say?”

Raba said I said, “‘Where’d you get that pink shirt?’, real smart like and man it got under my skin.”

“Your little red-headed peckerwood ass, making fun of my shirt. I thought that shirt was the coolest thing, had those puffy sleeves and long collars.”

And I said, “Yeah, and you had the pink socks to match it.”

What Robert didn’t know was I really wanted 2 know where he got that shirt.

I didn’t have any “cool” clothes when I moved 2 Milan, but everybody there did. And I wanted 2 know where 2 get some so I could be “cool” 2. And maybe hang out with some cool people.

So I had a big belly laugh with Robert when I told him I was serious about wanting 2 know where he got the shirt.

Young and fearless yet nearly speechless, I spoke and somebody held onto it like a thing and floors me to think about it.

You know in your world somebody is hanging on your every word. And now that I see that, I stay in constant hope my words ring true and blow freely without forethought and planning.

And that’s the way this blog began and now I see where it’s going. And I sense you do 2.

Amy Lu was tired yesterday, so she started throwing a little girl fit after her mom, Nana, and Enzi and her had made Christmas cookies. And Ashley hollers out, “Amy Lu, Santa Claus is watching. You better be nice.”

Ya’ll, on the 11th Day I give 2 you the surety that “Somebody is watching,” therefore you are a Hero. Don’t shrug it off. This is a Hero-centered society on all levels. And on one level or another, you are somebody’s hero. And they are watching, just like Santa.

I had a friend I used 2 party with tell me one day, “You know my son thinks you are the greatest and told me he wanted 2 be like you.” My friend’s son was 7 years old. I was floored. I thought how long has this young boy been watching me and listening to me.

Had I already ruined the kid with bad behavior or had I been a positive influence and fun? My life up to that point with these friends flashed before my eyes in an instant and I say quickly, I needed to adjust a few things, mainly cursing, but overall I felt sure my example would not hurt anyone.

As this young kid grew up, he did his own thing and still does. He is brilliant and witty and well schooled and I won’t name him because I love him.

I know folks are watching me now, but for years and years I had no clue anybody cared or watched. I lived freely and partied hard and was good at it.

I study the Book of Love and lived it. And I still am not afraid 2 do things you don’t agree with or say things you don’t believe 2 be true…If I believe it to be true. I believe in watching and caring but I don’t believe in judging and intolerance. I am never afraid to teach and the biggest challenge is what 2 teach and when 2 teach and when 2 shut up.

Watch me but be you. Follow the only good advice I can give you, that is this:

“Do what you want 2 do, that’s what I do.”

costa rica....and me

I don’t know your situation or your list of problems and concerns, but this advice will never fail you. You are special and what you really want to do is special…2 you. I love 2 follow my heart and go with my gut and let the chips fall where they may, in what I do and what I say.

My words may have hurt you in the past and knowing this to be a truth, I sincerely apologize. For those of you who held some of my words dear, I am honored, and for those of you that I have not hurt or helped…you are not missing much. Just remember you’re somebody’s role model or hero, and I sense the ones that want 2 be just like you…are your children, or cousins, or siblings. One doesn’t have 2 look far to see who’s watching and hanging on your every word.

I hope ya’ll know, I am trying to keep my words and subjects light, but I don’t always succeed…and I know that now that I know “somebody’s watching.”

Things are not always the way they appear when we watch life and people, so be careful not to judge those you don’t understand, and be tolerant to those who seem intolerable, be forgiving and a peace maker if you can, and remember there are 2 sides 2 all of us. The Good and the Bad, and we can recognize them the minute they appear in our behavior.

Now that I sense this, I am even watching myself and I’m good with it. Can you stand the sight of yourself?

Merry Christmas Time and remember, Santa’s watching!

10th day of Christmas….repost

The morning sky is dark with rain and gray clouds. Raba Baba is already preparing lunch at the Spoke and one of the grand kids is awake and watching cartoons. Diana has a sinus headache, and just called out from the bedroom for two Ibuprofen. So I take them to her and return to my desk in our den to write my blog.

I’ve already made coffee and let the dog out and checked my Facebook and Twitter. It seems fewer and fewer are reading these blogs and I wonder if they are worth the effort, other than my personal gain I get from writing them. And I do gain a lot, with each blog. See, I never was and still am not a ‘writer’. This is all new to me, but I enjoy this new found hobby… writing.

I don’t read as much as I should and never read fiction stuff. I can’t imagine making up a story, but I have very little trouble putting my thoughts to paper. They come from stuff I already know and remember and feel. Today I feel lots of stuff….. joy and sadness, health and hurt, pressure and no pressure, but most of all I feel loved.

Judie and Ron

Because I was loved as a child and now that I am an adult, my life requires a lot of love to be balanced. I must give it and receive it to be happy. Yesterday was a sad day for our family and for Judie’s family, so we all gathered and gave our love and comfort to Judie and Ron as they prepared to drive to Washington, DC and leave their home and usual Christmas routine to go be with Ron’s Dad and family, for the final time… while Ron’s Dad is still alive.

And we talked and hugged and discussed the situation. When dad got there, I told the group gathered that I had a feeling this was going to be a very special Christmas for their family and how fortunate they were to be together and traveling and seeing the National Christmas Tree and the state trees and our Nation’s Capital all lite up for the world to see. It reminded me how we used to travel every Christmas to Dad’s Mom’s and Dad’s Dad, very seldom having Christmas at home.

At this point in the Burnham families life, there are no grandkids, no married kids, and all the children are grown up. They were so supportive of their Dad that they would not let him go alone on this emergency trip. Ron is a big guy with a big heart and to see him crying, made me cry. I spent the entire day and on into the night with them and watched as family friends called, came by and even their minister; Helen Hamilton took time to sit with Judie and then Ron.

Drew, Cara, Judie, Ron, Barker - The Burnhams

Judie loves so many people, she is in return, loved by many people. Not having a vehicle that all the Burnhams could fit into, they were planning on taking two cars, even though they wished they could all be together in one vehicle. Dad’s wife Mickey, has a van and it is big enough for all of the Burnhams and Dad offered to see if Mickey might let them use her van for the long trip. Dad called and explained the situation to Mickey and she quickly said it would be her pleasure to let them borrow her van.

The whole family was relieved and excited to be able to travel all together, as a family, in one car. There was a collective “thank you” sighed out to Mickey and Dad for arranging a way for them all to be together.

Mickey, if you read this, I want to thank you for this act of family and kindness. Soon after the family found out they would be traveling together, their mood lightened and their hearts were warmed and they were drawn closer to Dad’s wife than ever before. And that’s a good thang. It has not been so. Things have been said, feelings hurt, and estrangement had ruled between Dad’s kids and Mickey.

Last Tuesday, we shared a Christmas dinner with LuAnne and Judie, and me, and Dad and Mickey and Jim, her son. We have not shared a meal together in a long time. That meal did not heal all wounds, but it started the healing and now this act of family will heal more past wounds.

So, on the 10th Day of Christmas I give you ….. Change.

Mickey and Jack on their wedding day

Things change, we change, times change, but love endures all change. My sisters and I faced the change of Dad having a wife that was not our Momma. We didn’t handle it as well as we wished we could and hope that someday this change would feel right to us and Dad.

I hope this is the start of the change we all need… a united family and a Dad not torn between his children and his wife.

Things change, and bad things only last a moment, because things change. And there is no better way to effect change than to love, and forgive, and be patient, and understand. We aren’t the only creatures on the planet… we are all connected. Change then affects us all… because we are all connected.

It’s like the domino effect; one change creates a long line of changes one after another. We all are products of change. We changed from a seed into caring societies, people and families – sons to Daddys, Dad to Granddaddys, and someday grandkids into parents and the chain of change goes on and on.

Change is inevitable and without it, there is no life. My life has changed many, many times and this time, this change may be my last chance to change for the better or… worse. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, only hoped for or dreaded. If we see a tomorrow, expect a change. Is there something you can change that you know you need to change… about yourself or relationships? I sense we all need some change, me especially.

I watch some folks change for the worse, especially when something goes bad in their life. I have watched family members change for the worse, some for the better and some never change cause they are already good as gold.

This Christmas things have changed. Diana still mourns the death of her brother, Ron is saddened with the impending death of his father, our family functions are rearranged, and I have lost too many good friends this year to count. Things change… but love endures and that will never change.

I love ya’ll and hope your changes are for the best and ya’ll hope for me as I continue to change. “I’m just an old chunk of coal, but I’m gonna be a diamond someday”…. And I feel the pressure that effects that change… over time.

It’s Christmas Time, a time that changed the world. One person, with one purpose changed the world… you can too… through Him and His love for you that gives you and me that power… the power to change. The power to change ourselves and then the domino affect starts… changing the world around you …. And me.

“Got any spare change?” somebody needs it if you will give it… this I sense.

the 9th Day of Christmas…repost

I guess you’ve noticed these blogs are getting shorter and shorter as they near the 12th day of my Christmas time. The last few days have really been fast moving at a slow pace. The hustle and bustle of Christmas has set in and blog time has been muscled out by sleep. I woke up this morning around 6:30, got up, walked around, thought of my promise to give you the 12 days, and went back to bed. I was just too tired to tackle the blog and the Facebook and the Twitter and the world; so I chose to sleep.

Now I’m up again and taking my coffee and Diana’s taking phone calls, the restaurant is open, the coffee pot is empty, and here I sit, in a prison I created for myself, by committing to a long term blog. I do this kinda thing to myself all the time and I say to myself, “I will never try to do this kinda thing again”. And then I do.

So now it’s a goal, just to finish these 12 days and when I set a goal and keep my eyes on the goal line, I usually get there. So, on the 9th day I give you…… Goals.

Football is nothing without a goal line, goal post, a goal. Life is that way with me. I have to set goals to move forward in my world. I have many goals, probably too many, and this blog may be one of the too many. But I think not. In the quest of my goal to be a good person, this blog has made me examine myself and my beliefs and habits. I guess if I was asked, “what would you like to have said about you and how would you like to be thought of you when you die?”, I would answer by saying that I hope I was a good father.

If nothing else, a good father. Being a good father is my goal and one simple gauge I use to measure my success at reaching this goal is…. How good I am at loving my children’s mother. I believe no better example can be given them, than the example shown through me loving her.

It is not to our credit or fault if our children “succeed” or excel, or fall down, and deep. As a parent, our only fault would be not to have loved each other. I love looking at my kids, now all grown, and knowing they know love. And each was raised the same, but turned out different individuals.

As a child, being a preacher’s kid, I always felt “pressure”… to be this way, do this, don’t do that, all of it seemed to much as a kid. So I didn’t want my kids to feel any of that kinda pressure, so I let them choose what sport or activity they wanted and helped them with that. And when my son decided not to play sports, I was selfishly saddened, but I supported him in his choices. Odyssey of the Mind, Skills USA National Competition… no touchdowns, but passing the goal line in his chosen dimensions and fields of interest.

my son nick... smart, kind, funny, now grown up.

nick with his momma - they have a special bond

Our rule was simple. You make all A’s and there are no rules. The child made the rules if they made all As. And they did excel. Ashley Salutatorian and National Rotary Scholar winner – her winning essay made her the first person from this part of the country to win this national scholarship. Christen played Lady Tiger Softball and was the editor of the school paper and through her love of art, was nominated for the Governor’s School of Art. She was a member of the National Art Honor Society. Jessica was on the first Tiger Motion Dance Team and was brilliant at learning and performing the routines. All different, all smart, all loved without conditions.

Ashley's Senior pic from the HCB Wall of Fame

Christen on her 19th birthday. She was in her pink hair phase. We also saw green, purple and lots of other colors.

First born daughter Jessica - I was visiting her in Ohio

And their mother? Well she was loved too. And with each passing year, I look back on our love and I see that I sure could have done better some years, at loving their mother. We have many goals, Diana and I, but the number one goal is to love each other and that fulfills a lot of other goals.

We dream of a house in Costa Rica on our mountain top… that is a goal. We dream of selling our restaurant someday and retiring to each other’s love, wherever we are. We dream of spending weeks on end at the cabin on Indian Creek…. kayaking, swimming, spending time in nature with our grandkids. And since these things are goals, I just bet we reach them. I sure hope we do. We work hard every day, doing what we can to make these goals our reality.

Nick, Boo, Max - at the creek - Indian Creek

Montana Lote - Costa Rica

I have many goals. I wish I could share all of them with you, but it would be of no use. So I ask you instead, to examine your goals and identify them and categorize them. Then put the family goals first. Is that where it already was? I sense it was so, cause I know most of the folk who will read this.

So the goal of putting out 12 blogs in 12 days and say something of me and my ideals is weighing heavy on me. You might not understand how serious words are. I do understand this and each word written is history and I want to be able to look back and read these words and feel something real, honest, and true…. so it is a challenge and a risk and revealing and imprisoning. I am captive to my commitment. And I feel the pressure of the next few days. And it’s Christmas time too. So I promise you, I will never commit to the 12 Days of Christmas blog again. This is it. And it’s got to be good and lasting. The words will never go away and I am sensitive to that fact.

You may read these blogs and think, “oh, what a good guy this is” or “this dude is so full of bull” or who really knows what you think? I only know what I think. I sense that others know these same things. Sometimes we just have to relearn what we already know. In my case, I should have known better than to commit to the 12 blogs, but 9 days ago, it seemed like the thing to do. So I said I would do it and I am and this is part of it.

I see my family react to these blogs and so I keep them in mind in nearly every writing. That is one of my goals and I can see the goal post. Christmas of today will never again be the Christmas of back then. No matter how hard we try to make Christmas like it was when “Big Daddy” Ralph Barker gathered his flock and it was absolutely the best day of the year, “Christmas Eve”. All the family and cousins and uncles and it was heaven. That’s what it was and that’s when it will be the same as it used to be… when we all get to heaven.

I can see Big Daddy, with Aunt Willie and Uncle Granville, Uncle Max, Momma and others, with all of us together again. And I can see the Christmas past when I would wake up at Momma Vera’s with my sisters and mom and dad, amazed now at my dad’s commitment of love for his mother (Momma Vera). And to know that now, it is up to me to give my family good memories of Christmas with me as PaPa and Daddy.

This year the kids are coming to our house and wait for ole Santa to show up. And Santa will come see the grand kids at Papa and Nana’s house. Little Amy Lu insists she has to be here, at our house, because we have the chimney for Santa. And Enzi asks, “But how will Santa know we are here and not at our house Papa?” It’s magic, we say, he’s watching… and then we remember when the magic was simply the love of mom and dad. Kids still love the magic of Christmas and I do too, magically different. My goal is to make this Christmas everything they dream of… that’s my dream and my goal. So off to help Santa I must go, to fill each stocking with the joys of Christmas.

me and enzi decorating the tree

lu lu and enzi decorating cookies

santa came! papa and lulu playing....

The goal of this blog began as a goal just to get it done, and have it finished. Then my thoughts reminded me how special this time is for children… my children and grandchildren and all children. My goal is to make sure my grand kids remember Christmas time at Papa Jay’s…. with joy unmatched.

I hope this blog will help you look at your goals for the future and today and may you prioritize them with family foremost, always. My goal is to help you reach your goal. Remember you are going to be a memory someday. How do you want to be remembered? I want to be remembered as a good dad and that means I must be a good husband… cause a good dad loves his children’s Momma madly, if he’s a good dad.
Diana, I love you madly and Merry Christmas my dear. I go shopping just for her every Christmas Eve and it’s still the happiest day of my year… Christmas Eve. She makes my days…. so special. I never know what I will buy her cause all the other gifts are bought first and then we see if any funds are left and I use that little bit and seek out something that might show my love the best. Whatever it is, this year it will not cost much but will mean a lot and my time looking for it is priceless. I love Christmas Eve like a kid, with anticipation of Christmas Day fluttering in my heart.

I hope your goals are in order and that you reach every one of them. And today one of my goals is reached….my blog is done…. and Diana hands me the phone and it’s Judie and she’s crying and packing to leave unexpectedly for Alexandria Virginia to be with Ron’s dad. He is dying fast and requested to see his family… so my goal now is to go comfort Ron and Judie before they depart in the early morning. Things happen… goals change, but the order of my goals stay the same….. Family First.

Pray for them if you pray, hope for them if you hope, and I will hope for you and yours … a “family first” Christmas. However it may turn out, one thing is for sure, it will someday be someone’s memory.

Note: This Day we gather to mourn my Dad’s death…He died last nite…things happen…but the order of my goals remain…Family first…He was a great man and made many a Christmas memory for me and mine

8th Day of Christmas….repost from last yr

On the 8th day…

I give you music, a song in your heart, in your mind, on the radio, at church, in the shower, when dreaming, and with every mood and situation, I give you a song.

cutting my CD...cause I wanted 2....give u music

Music has always been close 2 my heart, from the 1st lullaby to the last song I ever write. As the Christmas music plays, it’s taken me 2 a time and place in my soul and my whole being feels free from the reality of stuff.

Music is my timeline. When I want to go back, I think of my favorite songs of the past and I can put myself right where I 1st heard the song or liked it or played it over and over. Some songs take me 2 an entire era, others to a specific day. Only old photos come close as a vehicle of choice to travel the past.

Music is much more than a time travel machine. It captures our every mood and excites or soothes us with each new song. It is an art form that is Universal and transcends languages and cultures.

Christmas music is the foundation of Christmas time. Cantatas, old favorites, and every great musician and artist have Christmas songs. They love and feel it too.

Music is made for me and my needs. I even make my own and it is very humbling, yet liberating, and I understand the luck involved in having my music be good or played by someone who might enjoy it.

None the less, I write music, I sing songs, mine and my favs, nearly constantly in my head or aloud.

It’s like the humming we used 2 hear when the elders sat on the porch and hulled peas or the farmer worked in the field…humming a song or even singing aloud…. as they work or ready themselves for work. It sets a mood and elapses time and transforms time…into our time….Thats why I’m singing my song as I go along with whatever deed busies my hands.

Right now, I am humming, “If I Were A Painter,” by Nora Jones, ’cause every time I sense the loneliness that comes from my mother no longer being here it comforts me. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” is playing in the Broken Spoke and right now I can see her face, when we would sing that song in the car on the way to PaPaw Ralph’s for Christmas Eve. She would look at Daddy and smile with a twinkle in her eye.

This Christmas has taken some strange turns in our family. It’s nearly scary. We don’t even go to Dad’s. Lu will be in Knoxville, Suzie Gran is gone, Keith is gone, and so is a lot of joy 2 many in the families of the world.

Diana’s mom is mourning the death of a son. There will be no presents this year at her family gathering and sandwiches and and cards will replace the annual “Big 2 Do”. I wonder if I will attend, but rather drive to Milan and see The Williams Family. They 2 lost Dr. Phil way 2 early.

When i need an example or simple inspiration of the good in the world I travel 2 see Mrs. Barbara…listen 2 the chatter and laughter…that is music to my ears.

Milan is my hometown and I am singing, “I’ll Be Home For Christmas,” and I will be…as long as I have a song….and a my truck and some gas money.

remember these silver christmas trees?

So sing your song and spread the joy you get and if you’re sad, as many are this time of year, go listen to somebody sing or a choir or just quietly hum your happy song. I sense you will be lifted and feel better even if you already feel great…..Sing…do you know this one?

“Do you feel what I feel?”

“Do you see what I see?”

“Do you hear what I hear?”……

I hear a song…a song of love…..

“Do you know what I know?…..

“Do you hear what I say?” … and the song says…..pray for peace and happiness for all of mankind, …..especially your neighbor and family…and me, I said that.

I pray you all find a song in your heart so I give you Music!

“Joy To The World,” and that includes you.

Note 2 Readers…as I repost this my Dad lies dying of Cancer in the Hardin County Medical Center…and most likely this will be his last day on Earth…and we will sing Glory to God on the Highest…and Go rest high on that Mt….with the Father Son and Holy Ghost….and momma and Dr. Phil and Momma Vera…I hope and …Sing

Jack H Barker …my Dad…with Great, Great Grandson ..Silas

7th Day of Christmas – Repost

I woke up and it was 10:30. Man, that’s late for me to sleep but I did it. My old feather pillow, thin from years of supporting my head, was right there looking me in the face. The 840 count fine linen that covered the old blue and white striped, slobber stained, 1960’s feather pillow, was stuck to my face. I must not have moved all night. What a lucky dog I was. I thought.

Some bad luck sent me packing to Costa Rica and there I found my "lucky" again by coming home to my family. Lucky me.

If I could give you anything at all, it would be luck. So on the 7th day I give you LUCK.

The polarity of this dimension always amazes me. Just giving you luck would be giving you nothing. Cause you and I both already have luck. Some folks are lucky, you know these friends and people and I do to. They are just lucky, good stuff and good fortune and good looks just clings to them. These folks are so lucky it sometimes makes me feel unlucky. You know what I mean?

Well, as luck would have it, I am both lucky and unlucky. Who’d a thought it? When I look at my life and I am still alive, I feel very lucky. Just lucky to be alive, realy… AND have someone to love.

Sharing a dream in the jungles of Costa Rica.

I know a lot of you out there feel unlucky, and you are. I have one child that seems to have nothing but bad luck, on the surface. Sometimes you go a lap down in this race of life and you feel you will never catch up. It’s so hard to catch up when everything around you moves so fast. And we must not only catch up, but somehow get ahead. The way life allows this to happen sometimes is with luck; that’s how you catch up….. and hard, smart work. So I wish you luck…. Good luck…. I hope you reach your lucky star. Having had bad luck before, I know how hard it is when you dream and try and do all you can, but as luck would have it, things go bad or don’t end the way we had hoped.

Moving from bad luck to good luck seems as hard as reaching the stars to many of us. It just seems no matter how hard we stretch and reach we get no closer. Well hang in there…. Keep reaching for the stars…. Your lucky star is there, waiting on you to pick it.

I believe in luck and I hope you have a big spell of good luck this New Year. I am hoping I’m a lucky dog this year too. See, I know I am running behind, in bills and the struggles of the commerce side of this world, but I am way ahead in the race for love, peace and happiness in my world. See, I run my life in dimensions. Work is one, home is one, nature is one and spiritual is one… there are others but you don’t get to go there.

I felt lucky so I called a white faced monkey over and asked him to go get me a mango. Instead, he tried to steal my necklace but I got lucky and he only got Diana's earring. Costa Rican Trail Ride

I can nearly control what happens to me spiritually, when with nature, and at home with family, but at work, luck runs that show….lot of times bad luck, or it seems that day. And I think it is common among us, when one area of our life seems unlucky, we label our whole life unlucky…. And it just ain’t so. Look at your life in dimensions. Now tell me you are unlucky. I don’t think you can. Good and bad luck co-exist, luck and absence of luck co-exist. We are so lucky in so many ways there is, by nature, some bad luck in all our lives. It is the polarity of the way of things. You may be experiencing some bad luck now in one dimension of your life or another, but I promise you, if you look into the other dimensions, layers of love and people who love you will appear, and you will see you are also very lucky at this very time….my sensitivity tells me….i am very lucky.

I feel so lucky today to be sitting in our “Anniversary getaway for a night hotel room” with my wife of thirty years and quietly co-existing. She doing her thing (helping me) and me doing mine. We don’t talk as we take our coffee and glow in each other’s comfort. We are opposites, think opposite…. Yet we come together as one, yet not the same. We are lucky, so lucky, that we have four wonderful children that love us and want to be around us, and eight grand kids we adore and a home and a life we live with purpose and meaning, filled with Family and dear friends. How lucky can one be? No luckier than me.

The nature side of things ~ we go there often.

You could be lucky too if you want to and if you do….. stop….. and look at your life…in the dimension…work, home, nature , and spirit….. and what you have that you are truly lucky to have…. Like your life…. And the joys you hold tight in it and you will feel lucky. And the luckier you feel, the luckier you are.

I’m feeling lucky today and I love it that way.

Life is Like a race in Nascar, We may be a lap down to our bills, but we are running hard and the caution comes out…. Somebody’s had some bad luck up ahead and We look around, realize we are running first, in the second layer of cars, as we cross the start/finish line…. And low and behold, We are the “lucky dog” that gets to benefit from another racer’s bad luck, and get a lap back for running hard even while a lap back.

Does this mean We are lucky or someone else simply unlucky? They both exist… pick for yourself. I choose to be lucky and as luck would have it, you are lucky too. And together there is nothing we can’t do. So keep reaching for your lucky star. It’s there, in your reach, if you look in the right spot.

6th Day of Christmas….and my Anniversary …..repost

I am sitting at my desk at the Spoke as I pen this and its 12:44am and we are still busy in the Bar. It is such a joy to see everyone so festive and looking good. I love Christmas Time. The ladies were all dressed in Christmas red and tall boots… I love me some boots… any way… as I sip a Modelo, I realize I will have no time tomorrow to write my blog so i sit down and….. write.

Dec 18th is our 30th wedding anniversary (Today). i am very proud Diana….She is my Lady Di. My Princess.My Soul mate. Its hard to believe its been thirty years. Thats more than half my life. And it is good. (Now it has been another year…31 yrs ….this is a copy of last yrs 6th day of Christmas)

Things haven’t always been perfect or even good, but they always seem to end up that way. We dream together and work together and sleep together. I can hardly sleep if she is not there. I cant get a blog done, a project finished, or bill payed without her. I probably depend on her more than i should, but she is always up to the task. She is stout.

I have learned not to speak to her before she has had two cups of coffee each morning, and that suits me. I have learned that her “schedule of the order of the day” is very important to her, and yet i still seem to mess it up each day with an unlisted request or chore. She always fits me in, but not always with joy… none the less she fits my stuff in her schedule. She’s sensitive to my needs.

She loves me when people tell her, “He’s a flirt”, “why does he wear them tight pants and cut-off shirts”, “how do you put up with him?” and on and on.

And on the other hand, the folks that know us envy our marriage or hope 2 imitate it, best they can. We live a simple but exciting life and there is never a dull moment between work and travel and children and grand-children. She has put up with my friends for years that crowded our house, hanging out drinking and smoking and such. She was put through “Woman Hell” by “Men Friends”. She’s stout.

When i went to jail for pot, her family and others tried to get her to leave “that sorry son of a”.. so and so. Instead she stood strong and defended me, and loved me, and cared for my affairs while i was locked down. She is much stronger than me, yet so soft. Soft Hearted 2 Me. and her first kiss sealed the deal for me and her. “The Kiss”

I asked her yesterday “what made you marry me?”. And without hesitation, she said, “It was that first kiss.” So on the sixth day, i give you “The Kiss”.

When you think about it it seems to be a strange way to get to know someone and love someone, but it works. Each of us can tell if a Kiss holds love. Just recently Diana and i have made a new house rule. Before we part ways in the morning, we must engage in a “Romantic Kiss”. A Kiss that says I love u deeply. For years with us it was “you’re not gonna kiss me goodbye?”, and a peck was given and we were gone.

It never seemed insufficient but it never felt real good either, none the less it was a kiss. Now the new “Romantic Kiss” in the morning has often created a situation where we both changed plans for a moment of “quality time”; in each others arms, just standing there swapping love stares into each others eyes. And we no its all we dream of…because it takes us back 2 day 1 all over again. That’s what we need and crave, the feeling of a first kiss every morning. Or at least I do. And She always gives one …or 2 or 3…

The kiss, soft and slow, tender and wet, long and meaningful, forever lingers in my mind each time our lips touch. I swear. Its true. Our lips were made for each other and our love life always responds to a “Romantic kiss”. She will probably be embarased by this post, til I lean over and Kiss her. We are married…Its ok ya’ll. I’ve see a lot of couples quit kissing after they got married…. and then divorced.

I gotta go home now, it is 1:58 AM and when i crawl into the bed she will make a sweet sound of approval and move to cuddle with me and we will and its life at its best as we float into sleeps dreamland.

I encourage you to give your mate or loved one a “Romantic Kiss”. And not just a peck, a first kiss, with meaning and passion and i promise you, you will be able to tell if they love you still, or ever did. And they can tell if you still love them too. My bet is ya’ll all love each other. You might just be lettin 2 much of your bad sensitive side take over….and not Kissin enough…just sayin…I sure love my every Kiss over these 30 years….just like the first one.

Now thats what I am talking about....tell me what I say...Happy Anniversary Diana, I love you and your ....kiss

I wish i could talk to you longer today, but its been a busy day for us today.

We will start by going to the Hardin County Jail and feeding the inmates and officers a delicious catfish, hushpuppie, slaw and french fries lunch at 11:30,

I still have a deep sensitivity for those imprisoned and their families. I feel their pain and each Christmas we try to visit… In the past years, often with all the kids, and try to let inmates know someone is thinking of them and hoping for them and on this day, feeding them the best Catfish in the World. And Diana and I do it together and with joy. It feels so good, but we always come away with teary eyes.”

I still cry when i think of the pain my wife, momma, kids, felt while i was in jail, and they didn’t deserve that pain. Even though the trip to the jail brings back painful memories, we sense the need…. to go, together, and share a little of our time and catfish with these 120 inmates. Christmas in jail?… I just shake my head at the thought of it, They outta let most of em go home and be with their families, for the day… I sense… they might be better inmates and husbands and mothers because of such a courtesy. That aint gonna happen this year, so off we go to jail; the Justice Center and it will be our first visit inside the new Jail.

And then we are on “Anniversary Time”, when we get in the car and see where it goes. And we laugh and talk and shop and eat and love. So if we miss you tomorrow, that means your not in jail, so kiss the one you love…I suggest a “Romantic Kiss”… works for me and Diana… For thirty years, and counting.

I love you Diana, you are my dream wife in my Dream Life, and you make it so Real.

“Now come here and let me kiss you baby…. bye yall

Note….My son Nick typed this for me around 3:30am….and it is his fingers and his love for his daddy that this blog is blogged….thanks Nick…I hope she likes it and gives me a big ole kiss after she reads it and sees it….If not , I’ll just have to go give her one.

The 5th Day of Christmas…from last yr

You know in the song the 5th day, 5 golden rings were given. That was quite a gift. So today I want 2 give you some deep thoughts – 5 of um – for you 2 consider.

1st Absolute Truths…Do they exist? Is there truth to be had and used that never fails under any condition or circumstance, or study? I think so.

I believe we live in dimensions and layers and what we see and believe are all based on what we know. And we know very little in the scope of things. Especially me. I realize I know very little of the Knowledge of the Universe and the human being, but what I do know is I love um both. I often say, “no good deed goes unpunished”…and you may think that’s bull, but let me say this. For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction…somewhere. For every good action there is an equal opposite action.

I ask Robert Barbour this morning if he could give me an absolute truth and without pausing these are the words he said,

“For anything to be absolutely true, the absolute opposite must also exist.”

And I asked him, “Does this mean you think there is no truth?”

Robert said, “No and yes, truth and no-truth co-exist.”

And he said, “Yeah, it’s like the sun has to set for it to rise.”

Well, I understood what he was saying, and off he went to the Spoke to make She Crab Soup and that’s the truth.

I believe while I live in this dimension, I will live by what I believe 2 be Absolute Truths. Time-tested principles that effect my every decision will be my Truths. So I will share mine with you.

1) I believe that Love conquers all, comforts all, and endures forever and ever.

I think it is very simple, way 2 simple for really “smart” people of science and religion. We all know love and the absence of it. We feel it when it’s gone and when it is here. It overcomes bad every time they encounter…Love or Hate…I stand on my “rock” and love is the foundation.

Love and God and Light and Word, are all interchangeable words. If you are one of those who say God ain’t real, do you believe in Love? If you say yes or know you’ve felt love, then you have felt God, Light, and the Word. Those of us who believe in God believe God is Love, God is Light, God is the Word. That being said and believed, the words are interchangeable.

So therefore, nonbelievers do believe in Love, Light, and Words.

Imagine a life void of light, void of word, void of love…and you can imagine….It would be hell wouldn’t it?

Love seems 2 me to be the thing we seek the most and if we find it, our soul and body feel its warmth and we are a glowing happy person…without it we are not whole and happy. Love is comfort food for the soul. Folks need it so I try 2 give it away every chance I get and there is always enough 2 go around…(like the 5 fish story.) Love makes things noticeable and visible, we see things that without it go unseen. As you receive and give love, love magically grows deeper and we understand its meaning more and the depths of love grow infinitely.

2) I believe in the Light…without Light we are nothing. The absence of light is called Darkness and in this world in which we live, there would be no life without light. Recently, super colliders have collided the smallest particles of the atoms we are constructed of, and because of light, they were able to witness those tiniest of particles explode into…organized dots of light. We are light at our very core. No light, no Creation, no nothing. Darkness tries to describe the absence of light but it falls short. The measure of light goes on forever, but the measure of no light has a stopping point at total darkness and then, it gets no darker, yet light gets brighter and brighter with measure.

Believing in light means I believe in you and your light, and everybody…because we are all light. Some shine brighter than others and some chose to live in darkness hiding the light. I sense these in darkness are wanting 2 see the light…I hope they do. Light and Love warm and comfort us all the days of life. Each of us know this if we have any sense at all.

The question then is, do you believe GOD IS LOVE, and GOD IS THE LIGHT? I do…and that’s the rock I stand on. I see God in all things, as the Native American Indians did, because I believe God is the LIGHT.

3) I believe in the Word.

We as a society and a people and a creation must depend on WORDS to do most anything we do. We would be less without words and thoughtless and ignorant…possibly a rock or a tree, or just water.

Who gave us the first WORD? And how do we know if that 1st word was the truth?

Well all our words are based on that 1st word therefore all our truths are thereto based. Think about that. We can’t read hieroglyphics, nor can I spell the word that stands for symbols on ancient ruins and scrolls…we know with our sensitivity these are words…but we don’t know their truth or meaning…so we don’t even call them words.

Time tested words – LOVE, HATE, GOOD, EVIL, LIGHT, and DARK.

We know these words personally and possess all of them in our being in different amounts. Some beings are nearly full of hate, evil and darkness, but there is a glimmer of love, good, and light. And it can grow and grow, this glimmer can, if we give our light, love, words to those overloaded with darkness, hate, lies.

Sometime long ago….there was the Word and the Light…I believe these words to be true and interchangeable with the word…GOD. If I seek Love, I am seeking GOD. If I seek the Truth, I seek GOD.
If I seek the Light, and see the Light, I have seen GOD.

So you think I’m weird, but that’s okay? What do you know? Do you know Love? Do you like the Light? Do you believe in Words? I sure hope so.

Finally I give you the 4th and 5th deep thought….. 2 of my favorite “rocks that I build my foundation on which I stand. Faith and Hope. Both mysterious and unexplained but well known.

dream it the way you want it 2 be ...and it can be

With faith comes hope and without hope we have a dismal existence. I stay in constant HOPE for things and people and good fortune, and I have faith hope is stout and real. I have it , so it must be real if i am real, and if i aint real…..aint nobody real. And that’s the truth.

Hope is positive energy sent to a person in need and it comes from within me upon command and I can feel the hope I hold leave my soul on its journey to the person or thing I am hoping for. Really. Try right now sending your hope 2 me so that I might complete this 12 day of Christmas blog and it be of some benefit 2 someone. I have faith you just did ’cause I feel it, even before you read my request in the here and now.

We are all connected…… by faith and hope ….and pure energy…Light.

Faith and Hope are wonderful gifts to give and keep. See the more hope you give, the more hope you have, at least that’s how it is with me. And the faith I have in Love, Light, and Truth, the more content and whole I am. Wanting for nothing but good things to happen…for my kids, my friends, my enemies, my wife, my life, your life, and the World as a whole…That’s hoping for a lot but I have faith that if each of us all hoped at once with faith, we could change the world, move mountains, lift heavy burdens, and yes, even do miracles.

I really believe these things to be true. So i hope nearly constantly…silently as I breathe.

These are the things I call my truths and my Rock and here I stand, in view of everyman, available for your target practice and best shot. Hope my words are true, ’cause I vowed not to lie anymore.

I had an older man work for my landscaping company years ago and like many of our elders he used hope (the word) instead of the word help. He’d say, “let me hope you out.” Hope is help, can you see that.

So this season, created by the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, think about where all this extra love comes from and what you are gonna do with yours this Christmas. Can I Hope you out?

I hope you send a lot of your love out to others who need some, and I’ll be hoping you and yours come together and share words and laughter and food and that nobody gets their lights cut off.

Now you know why we light more lights at Christmas than any other time of year…We love the light and the beauty of it, and it brings into our eyes and soul warmth and love, and we fill with joy at its sight. We do . I see it .

I see it every morning when I awake from darkness…I seek the light. And like the rising of the sun, and I sit in wonderment how somebody figured this whole thing out 2 build it so I can see it, and feel its warmth. And with every sunrise there will be a sunset, a sunset of our lives, and our day or days will be done. And I think about these things often with a cup of coffee and a smile knowing I am here for just a little while. And I marvel at the light and love I have been given and on that I stand.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TIME – Got your lights shining…we do…and so does nearly everybody else.

My sensibility tells me in today’s America, folks ain’t scared of God, but they are scared to say God, or they believe in God, any God. I sense the smartest of people as well as the remotely isolated beings knows God and His Existence but will not say it because they don’t know the word or think the word is not true. They will say love, and they love the light, and live with hope and dreams, and they believe somebody’s words. They really believe in these words and feelings. I sense this, and I feel it necessary to help all of us “Relearn what we already know.”

God is Love, God is Light, God is the Word. This means they are the same…. these words are interchangeable, so if you know one, you know the other.

The 4th Day of Christmas…last yr

This is sensitive material, holding the power of sensation. If we show our sensitivity…especially to our loved ones, it could be sensational…my sensitivity tells me.

My Dad with his new wife Micky...and family on wedding day...can we all ever come back togather? I sense we need too.

Last night, my dad and sister, Lu Anne and her husband, Steve came to the Spoke for our weekly family dinner. We were getting pretty busy so I would only get to sit with them a couple of minutes every now and then. But when the word came back into the kitchen that they were there, my heart smiled and I hurried to be able to go hug ‘em.

Lu Anne and Cousin Fayro...Alan and Diane Farris

That night, we had two Christmas parties and a class reunion, and lots of walk-ins, so they were proud for me. And when I sat down the first time, we all hugged and smiled. Lu Anne opened with, “I loved your blogs. After I read the one on ‘Time,’ I took the time to read the first one.” And then she told me I needed my split ends trimmed and play with my new ponytail.

I was so happy that moment but just that quick, I was up working on fixing a situation with a party. And I was gone.

Next time by, I sat down again and we planned dates for our gathering. We decided on Tuesday (Dec 20th) of next week, Christmas night at Judie’s, and the THURSDAY AFTER CHRISTMAS FOR THE NATIONWIDE BARKER CELEBRATION. Dec. 29th at the Spoke…calling all Barkers’ cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, and ones once married to one of these.

In just a few moments plans were laid in place for some family fun. Just that quick and then I was off to check on service for one of the parties, and through the crowd, greeting and stopping to chat and next thing I know, Dad is telling me bye and see you Tuesday. And they were gone.

Earlier in the evening, Diana’s mom and sister came and shared a meal with Diana. I was so glad for her ’cause I know how good a meal with my family feels. Diana’s mom has a lot of grief and sadness left to deal with and you could see it in her eyes, and my heart went out to her.

Some of Diana's Family

Sharing a meal with her daughters helped lighten her load. Mel brought her boys Cache and Cheeny, and they romped and played. It was fun to watch as I left them to their family time.

After thanking my guests at the Spoke and wishing them the merriest of Christmases. I went to my wife, who by the way, looked fabulous in tall black boots and black jeans…somebody stop me…flowing blonde hair and brilliant smile…She said, “You jumped down my throat tonight, all the way to my ass and I took it, but didn’t like it one bit.”

And someone said, “Were ya’ll arguing?” And she said, “No, because I keep my mouth shut and didn’t say anything.” Pausing to puff on her cig, she continued, “Ain’t no argument if you don’t say nothing back. Just an uncalled-for ass-chewing.”

See, I have no one to blame but myself or her for what I might see as a shortcoming on service, or party prep, or how things are plated and cooked, and stuff. This time I blamed her and it was as much my fault as hers that there was a shortcoming.

I am sensitive. I care about my Dream, my product, my creation…And I lose my cool…nearly everyday. This is my bad sensitive…easy irritated with less that great service, food, effort. I am working on this and I sense it is my worse trait of sensitivity.

So, on the 4th Day of Christmas, I give to you…Sensitivity.

I am kinda sensitive about Christmas

I was wrong to jump down Diana’s throat, the one I love the most, and I am sorry my sensitivity came out that way. Just because I am sensitive, I am sometimes over-sensitive and over-react. I may not know the definition of sensitive, but I know I am, because I care. I care about what I do and what I say. I am not one of these, I don’t give a damn-guys. I give a damn. Maybe I should just not be so sensitive about stuff.

But I have a sense of what needs to be done, who’s hurting, who I hurt, and how to fix it. So I will live with my gift of sensing the things others do not sense. The only sensible thing for me 2 do is keep on being sensitive, and sense when I am being the childish sensitive that is easily irritated.

We all have that sense but we don’t all have the sensitivity to fix it. We are often hard like a stick in the mud, believing only what we think matters. We hold on to things from the past when someone hurt our feelings, said mean things, pushed us away, said we were no good, and generally did us wrong. And we are so sensitive to that we can never come back together again. This kind of Sensitive is the Bad Sensitive. You can Sense that can’t you?

But we can sense the need 2 come back together with some sensitivity. Do you care? Then, are you sensitive enough to be the one, like Diana, who keeps her mouth shut when arguments start? Can you be the one to reach out to your past friends and estranged family, and reunite and make up and be unburdened. I Sense you can…and will…Its the only Sensible thing 2 do.

Reach out...

Sensitivity is not the road to be rewarded by those you are sensitive to. But it’s necessary to repair broken relations or maybe your business. If we help others, usually we are punished by the world and I know this from experience. On the other hand, I love being sensitive and I think you will too if you try it. You might start by being sensitive to your mate’s or families feelings or ideas, and respond with your senses.

I am two kinds of sensitive and you are too. Sometimes I am the bad one who is easily irritated or offended. That kind of sensitive is childish and I hate it when I act that way. My sensitivity makes me cry at good-ending movies, even commercials on TV. I love people and try to be sensitive to their needs and doubts. And it’s a burden sometimes knowing I must help others when I really don’t see how I can make enough time or money to do so, so my mind says, and I always remember…..NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED. There is often a cost we must be willing 2 pay….the cost of having our feelings hurt and our bank roll depleted when we are sensitive to the needs of others. My wife used to say, “Jay, you let people that owe us run over you. You are too good to people.” She don’t say that anymore because she now knows my heart fully. And she shares my humble belief that I should help, expecting nothing in return but a sensational feeling of sensitivity.

Three sensitive people, judie lu and jay...sensitive 2 each others needs

But being a sensitive person on the good side keeps me sensitive to things beyond the natural range of perception…by using my senses. The Good Sensitive is to be thoughtful, kind, understanding, concerned, patient yet responsive, receptive and attentive, considerate, tactful, and unselfish.

The Bad Sensitive is easily irritated, easily offended, quick to moody reactions, and quick to mean reactions. Both types live in all of us. The Good Sensitive and The Bad Sensitive. I stay at battle with my sensitivity all the time, the good ones and bad ones.

But I am sensitive and love it. I feel things others don’t sense and sense things others do feel. It is in my fabric and a gift.

Is that really a gift? Is it really a good thing? It is if I make it that way and I am happily trying to be sensitive to you and your needs, and my wife and her needs because I sense with my sensitivity, that you and I are all connected, especially me and you. “Cause you’re reading this, we are deeply connected and I thank you for your sensitivity.

You don’t want to be insensitive do you? Deficient in human sensibility, not mentally or morally sensitive…do you? Well, if you ain’t sensitive you are insensitive. It’s one or the other.

This is sensitive material, holding the power of sensation. If we show our sensitivity…especially to our loved ones, it could be sensational…my sensitivity tells me.

I love ya’ll, I know this don’t make no sense, so show some sensitivity in this matter as I take time to dream of a day when I put my Bad Sensitive to sleep and feel my Good Sensitive til it is so strong, Bad Sensitive is defeated. I haven’t got there yet, but I am working on it, one sensitivity at a time.

Micky, Dads new wife.....now for some reason or reasons we can not come together as a family even at Christmas. I sense a need to somehow some way fix it.

Love is such a joy when we care about each other. My sister Lu was and is sensitive to my need to be with family and she comes to see me every Thursday and I feel a sense of pride in her for taking her time to pick up Dad and come see me. And Judie is the most sensitive of us all and we all sense when we are needed by each other…that’s sensitivity…feeling and caring and sensing…

My sensitivity tells me you feel me and what I am trying to say.

Now, I get to go apologize to my wife and hold her softly and let her feel the pain I sense from jumping down her throat, when I was over come with my bad sensitive. Sensationally she will forgive me and my Bad Sensitive Behavior…She is so sensible. I must be crazy 2 ever say a cross word 2 her, I sense.

Saying i am sorry is made so easy by my wifes Sensitivity ...I love making up.

Get in touch with your good and bad sensitive sides and you will understand yourself much better…..We are not bad people…just sensitive…sometimes 2 sensitive. sometimes insensitive, and sometimes our sensitivity is all that saves us from a life void of love. May your life be full of love and family and the sensitivity needed to care deeply for others. They need you, I can sense it, and I also sense you already knew that. HAVE A SENSATIONAL CHRISTMAS TIME…